Just a random photography thought.

Someone asked me the other day what I wanted to focus on with my photography. At first I thought "why do I have to choose?"
After pondering for a few days I started to realize the blogs and websites I follow most are weddings and newborn photographers. All the rest of the stuff is peachy and fun, but I think those are the things that get to me the most..

Having had a horrible experience doing a wedding last year I swore I'd never do another wedding. But I'm starting to reconsider... because I want to make those amazing images. I want to help someone remember their amazing day.

A little vent-aliciousness

I feel pretty alone. I know majority of military wives don't have any family around when their other half leaves, but at least they have friends, or at least a friend, that they can rely on, that they can lean on when their special someone goes. No matter how I've tried since we got here, I haven't found that certain someone, that friend whom I click with. And I'm really feeling it right now.

When we were in Maryland, I had Melissa - she lived across the street. We both had tons of free time and no kids. We bonded over cooking and cleaning and Grey's Anatomy on Thursday nights. Even though we only lived there a few short months, Melissa and I still talk via facebook, I've visited her in Mississippi since then, and I just love her to bits.
When we lived in Japan, I had a few of these friends. Aly, Stephanie, and Rhonda were my neighbor girls, just a flight of stairs away. I always had someone to turn to! Then there was Lindsey, my bff on Okinawa, we grew to be like sisters. I've since visited with Stephanie AND Lindsey since we moved back to the states, and have it in my itinerary to see Stephanie again this summer. WOO!
I just don't have any friends like that out here. In fact, the other night I was in tears sitting in a parking lot in my car because I'd had a really rough, overwhelming day, and I kept trying to think of someone who I could call to talk to and I really had no one. I ended up calling my little sister, who luckily picked up her phone, and spilled my blubbering half-words guts out to her. Poor me, boo hoo.

I can't believe how fast it's kicking in this time - the loneliness. Usually it takes a while. But it's only been 3 days and I'm already feeling like my heart is half empty. Luckily Emma has the other half that she fills up with sunshine and giggles every day.

If I didn't have so many obligations here - a job, a business, a house - I think I would get into my car and just drive away from here. Go somewhere where people know me and love me.. Denver, then Las Vegas, then Thousand Oaks. Who knows - maybe for the whole time. But I can't do that - I have some amazing kids to watch each weekday and sessions booked on weekends, plus my sister has booked a flight out to see me and another Okinawa friend is going to pop in to see me mid-july.

So it begins...

First of all, I have several "saved" blog posts I never published about Emma because I didn't have time to finish writing them... that's kind of what happens when your baby starts walking, you seem to lose ALL your "free" time.

So here we are at the beginning of Danny's long training. He'll be gone for 8 days, come back for about 6 days, then leave for 4 more months. It's only been one day but I already miss him so much. That and he left his phone here so there is really absolutely no contact between us at the moment. Bla.

I shouldn't be allowed to have a credit card when he leaves, for at least a week.. I do it every single time he leaves, I go to the store to kill time and I buy stuff. Useless stuff that I don't need and junk food. I have a pile of "to return" already and I just went to the store today... oops. At least I know I don't need it. And Emma doesn't need it. (I started throwing stuff in she was interested in.. LOL)

So I came home and put Emma down for a nap, which she is now awake... so I have to cut this short... Her amazing 2 hour naps have gone back to 30 minute naps this week. GRRRRR